CBS debuted a new sitcom this fall called “The Millers.” It was an immediate new favorite of mine. The sitcom is about two grown children whose parents divorce. It’s very ironic to me that this is now one of my favorite shows because this sitcom is living out a funnier and friendlier version of the nightmare I am living through.
My parents will be divorced soon. WOW! It still stops me in my tracks. It can’t be my life. No, my parents loved and adored each other. They were also best friends. Suddenly this all changed without any warning. I’m still recovering from the shock that my mother moved out and filed for divorce without any warning and no explanation. There was no phone call, no text, and no visit. I bawled my eyes out watching “Parenthood” last week. Yes, I know I watch way too much TV. One of the couples sat their small children down to tell them that daddy was moving out because they fought too much. Boy, did that hit a little too close to home! The foundation of the battles (fights are too civil for what we’ve been having) I’ve been having with my mother all go back to the fact that this has all happened without any warning. Imagine calling home on a Sunday evening after a trip and ask to talk to mom before you run into the grocery for a recipe and be told by your dad that she’s moved out. Each time I bring this up to my mom, I am told her divorce doesn’t concern me or that it has no effect on me. No effect! Are you serious? Obviously her parents are still married. Now my parents will reside at two different places. My childhood home now is missing my mother. This impacts everything: birth of future children, birthdays, holidays, every day life and you can’t forget funerals. I want to kick and scream that this is not fair. I can’t help but feel like my life has been a complete lie. Just on my birthday in September, my mother posted on Facebook that the greatest men to ever walk this earth were my father and G. How can I not feel like my life has been lie? How can something change so drastically within a person without a warning sign to anyone? I am told this feeling like your life was a lie is a natural reaction for adults whose parents are divorcing. But enough of that. I’ve done pretty well at focusing on the good in my life but I still have moments such as now when I want to wallow in all the hurt.
God has been gently reminding me that I’ve depended on my parents too strongly for too long. My dependence should lie within Him. But it has been so easy to rely on my fleshly father when he is right there and always there. It’s been a spiritual battle within me as I realize that only my Heavenly Father can make it all right. He can wipe away this hurt and anger that I have and use it for His glory. I just need to work towards getting there.