Wasn't I Just Talking About This

I Want to See the SON Even When It Rains

I had an ah ha moment tonight as Oprah would say. So many times lately I've focused on how different my life will look once my parents divorce and all the stuff I will be missing out on. I also think about my relationship with my mom and how drastic it has changed. I allow myself to question if I'm the person she sees me as. 

But then tonight I began to think about all the amazing friends I have.  They love me for me.  The Amy that can be controlling, has to eat every so often, can be a neat freak and a slob, can sleep all day and has to have things a certain way. Yet they still choose to love me. They opted to spend time with me. They take every opportunity to encourage me, to support me, to guide me and to love me. So many people would die to have those friendships. And I have them. Those are the relationships that are going to have my focus. 

This year is supposed to be the year I focus on my blessings. As you may remember, for my birthday in September I began a gratitude journal and started writing down something new to be thankful for each and every day. Sometimes I'm not going to lie, I really have to search a little too long for something to be thankful for because the day has been so crummy. I want to change that. I want to continue to see the SON (Son of God) even when it rains. I truly want to train my thoughts to think of all that I have instead of all that I'm lacking. 

So hold me accountable friends. 

Looking Back

Remember when I wrote this last year? I hate to say I was right but boy was I right. 2013, you were indeed not a “lucky” year as I suspected. However, when I was reflecting back and flipping through photos of this year, I see you were pretty kind until October. October 21 to be exact but I promise to try not to focus too much on the last 67 days. I want this posting to be a recap of all the great things that happened the other 298 days. If you remember, I also wrote this in September about how this year (meaning my 28^th year on earth) would be the year of focusing on the blessings in my life. So yes, enough with the bad. Let me make room to reflect on all the good.

 

 

1.       We moved AGAIN! Yes, call us crazy. In short summary, we received a notice in January that a 300+ unit apartment complex was going to be built in our backyard. We loved our home and had been in it exactly one year but we did not want that many neighbors behind us. We decided to stick a for sale sign in the yard to see what happened. Well we sold our house in 13 days. We found our new home in which we love even more.

2.       2013 was the year of weddings. Three of my closest friends got married. Lara married in April and I was honored to serve as her wedding coordinator. Rachel married in June and I was honored to serve her as one of her wedding photographers. Then Andrea married in September and I was honored to serve as her matron of honor.

3.       My childhood dog Missy came to live with us in June. We thought Missy’s time was coming to an end so my dad brought her to me this summer for me to take to my brother-in-law who is a vet. Well wouldn’t you know it a week here with me with some baby aspirin as prescribed by Michael was all she needed to be back to her ole self. Sweet Missy turned 16 in October. I absolutely love having her with me again.

4.       Greyson and I did a lot of fun stuff this year. We celebrated our third wedding anniversary with our friends, Andrea and Steve at Lairdland Farms, where we got married. We also went to the beach twice this summer. Once with his family to Pawley’s Island, SC and once to Saint Simons, GA with our friends, Trina and Marshall. We were able to celebrate Trina’s 30^th birthday while we were there. This fall we went to a University of Tennessee vs. Auburn football game in Knoxville. This was the first time our teams ever faced each other since we’ve known one another. We had a great time (expect for all the walking but that’s another story) especially since Auburn won.  

5.       Professionally it has been a great year. I exceeded all of my sales goals for the year. I also had the privilege of serving on the Chamber of Commerce’s Business Women’s Council again and Murfreesboro Young Professionals as Director of Membership/ Chair- Elect.

These things and all the other great things that happened are the things I want to remember about 2013. Am I sad to see 2013 go after my time of reflection? Heck no. You still can go and don’t let the door hit you on the way out. However, I do hope that in years to come when I am reflecting back on this year that these things come to mind long before the memories of the heartache.

Speaking of NYE. How about a blast from New Year’s Past. Looking forward to carrying on the tradition another year.

 

 

Thankfulness

Project 28

Conversing with God

Lord, I didn't ask Psalm 26:2 for my life. I am being tested and tried and I did not ask for it. You see there must be a mistake. I signed up for the easy track. You know the one where only these type things happen to other people. My form must have gotten mixed up with someone else's. It's ok though. You can fix it real quick and everything will be ok. Alright? 

What do you mean you never promised me an easy track? It's been pretty easy so far. Sure there have been bumps along the road but I've been able to take care of those bumps. What's that? Yes, I realize I said I've been able to handle them. That's what I do. I'm a problem solver. I have a career in the hospitality industry. I was born to solve problems. But now I can't fix this one. I can't get through to the one who needs to be fixed.  Wait, wait, wait a minute! You want me to step back and surrender my control to you, Lord? Do you really know what you're asking of me? Of course your ways are greater than mine but you can use me to solve the problem. I don't mind at all.  In fact, I want to help. 

I don't understand you when you say you don't need my help. Of course you do because this impacts my life and so many others. I need to have some of the reigns.  

Alright, I will try to listen. I will lay it all at your feet. Please forgive me when I try to pick it back up. I want to honor you. After all, you do know what's best.

 Lord, I want to let you know that most of the times things don't go right if I'm not in control. I've seen things come crashing down too many times without me. That's right you are the Alpha and Omega. So I'm laying it at your feet once again. Asking you Father to bless this situation. Sharpen us Lord. Let us grow in you.  Let us glorify you. Change heavy and stubborn hearts because if anyone can do that it is you.  Help me not to correlate my hope and joyfulness with the outcome of this situation or how it plays out in the process. My hope is in you. My strength is in you. 

Update

When I began Project 28, I never could have imagined the trials that were going to be a part of my path. This past month has been tough. It has without a doubt been the hardest thing I've ever been through. Having a sick parent is painful. There has been a lot of ups and downs but mostly downs. My whole world has been shakened.  Some days it has been a real challenge to find something to give thanks for. While other days, I've been overwhelmed by God's great blessings for my life. God knew what He was doing though when He gave me this idea on my 28th birthday to find something new to give thanks for everyday. He knew of the trials ahead and knew I needed to focus on the good and the blessings in my life. As I told a co-worker who sent me an encouraging text the other day, I've always been the glass is half empty type of girl. It is time for me to focus on the fullness. Although it has been challenging at times to look for new things to be thankful for, this trial has also given or shown me new things.  For example:

Day 43- the ability to take everything to God in prayer

Day 48- God's design of marriage. I'm so thankful to have a helper in this crazy thing called life. 

Day 64- The promise of brighter days ahead. 

Day 67- Comforting words 

Before I end this post, I must thank my incredible support system. God is so amazing how he has put some many people in my life right now that are able to relate and have opened up their loving arms to me. You all deserve more than just one day of thanks. 

So there it is folks. Here's your update on Project 28. Until next time.  

Project 28

Tuesday was my 28th birthday. I previously shared some of my anxiety about getting older. I'm relieved to say that my anxiety is now gone. I woke up an hour early on my birthday. Our air conditioner was out on our entire main floor. Since it was 81 degrees at bedtime the night before, I decided to sleep on an air mattress in the bonus room because we have a separate unit upstairs. I surprisingly had an overall great night’s sleep but awoke to an aching back (that part was not a surprise).  I went downstairs to get ready and prepare for my 12 hour workday ahead. I decided I was going to use some of my extra time to meditate. I'm not very good at meditating. My mind tends to wonder very quickly and often. I decided I would try to focus my prayers on all my blessings over the 28 years of my life and not so much my requests. I praised God for so many loved ones and named them individually. I gave God all the glory for my successes and where I am in life. When I was finished praying, the phrase smell the roses came to mind. I then thought, there's no need of worrying about what the future holds or what it is going to look like but I need to stop and smell the roses every day. I just imagined how much fuller my life would feel if I consciously took time to look for something new to be thankful for. I've decided to do just that. I'm going to thank God for something new and different for each day of my 28th year on earth. I am going to share them on here as well. I know it's going to be hard to post everyday and I certainly don't want to bore my surprisingly growing followers to tears. However, I do plan to journal something every day and share my list periodically.  I'm beyond excited now about being 28. It's funny how quickly your prospective can change. I know one day I will look back and laugh at myself for my fear of getting older when I was only 28. For those who know me well, you know I'm not a naturally positive person.  It is going to take some effort and disciple on my part to focus on the blessings.  I hope in this year that I can change the way I see the world. I also hope that my relationship with God will deepen and that my praises do nothing but glorify His name.

Funny thing after I decided on doing this, a friend posted this on Instagram. I'm hoping project 28 will do just that.

Also, my devotion on day 2 was this. I think God is reaffirming with me that this is a good plan.

And here's my items of thankfulness so far…
1.  All the love I was surrounded with on my birthday.
2. This gorgeous sunset. This sunset actually gave me chills. It's beyond humbling to me to know that the God that created the universe loves me.

3.  A supportive group of family and friends that prays for me.