The other night I was watching one of my guilty pleasure, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and one of the ladies was moving. I saw her pick up the book The Purpose Driven Life and pack it into a box. I had not thought of this book in years and yet it sat right beside me in the bookshelf in the living room. As soon as my quality TV program went off I picked up the book and blew off the dust and took it to bed with me. (Does this remind anyone of how I found out about Choosing to See?)
I don’t remember how long I’ve had the book or if I bought it or if my mom got it for me but I do know that I got in college. I remember wanting to read it and find out what my purpose was. I’ve never been the type of person that has a clear dream or desire about what I am suppose to do. Several thing interest me but I’ve never had a passion. Unfortunately, I never made it through the first chapter. It was just asking way too much of my selfish personality and I wasn’t ready to receive its principles that I never finished it.
This time I am committed. I am on the 11th day out of 40 consecutive days. I even made myself sign the commitment page to hold myself accountable. In the past 11 days, I have really learned some amazing lessons. All I can think about is how those lessons could have really impacted my life if I had been willing several years ago. Yesterday, I attended a conference where in a room of 50 or more women only two women raised their hands to show that they felt they were doing what they were meant to be doing career wise. I have the want it all mentality just like these other successful women whose hand wasn’t raised and I am not satisfied. I still find myself thinking all the time just like that younger version of me that I still don’t know what my purpose is for my life. But when I think purpose, I think career path. When in reality my purpose and my career path are two separate things. But I have learned some valuable lessons about my dissatisfactions.
1. My identity is in eternity and my homeland is in heaven. When I grasp this truth, I’ll stop worrying about “having it all”.
2. The fact that earth is not my homeland, explains why as followers of Christ we experience difficulty, sorrow and rejection in this world.
3. It also explains why some of God’s promises seem unfulfilled and some circumstances seem so unfair. It is because this is not the end of our story. Our story as Christians does not have an end because we have eternal life.
4. Our dissatisfaction helps us from becoming too attached to earth because we know our longings will never be fully fulfilled here.
I know these are lessons that I will have to remind my earthly brain often but I am so thankful to have received them. I have been less concerned about figuring out what I am supposed to do because I know my purpose. My purpose is to glorify God.
Only My Dog
We found out on Monday from our veterinarian, who also happens to be our brother-in law, that our sweet Libby most likely has a dog food allergy. More specifically she probably has an allergy to either chicken, beef, or corn, which are the main three ingredients in most dog foods. She’s had a serious of health problems and behaviors that have led to this assumption. We are now having to buy her lamb and rice dog food in hopes that she is able to eat that but if she is allergic to the lamb and rice than we will have to go to more extreme measures like making her food. So far it looks like the lamb and rice might work and she actually likes it more than she did her old dog food.
This isn’t the first time we’ve dealt with allergic reactions with Libby. Her last set of vaccinations a month ago resulted in a trip to the emergency vet clinic in town because she broke out in hives and her entire body started swelling once we got home. It was horrific. We found out after a serious of steroid shots and dosages of Benadryl that Libby is one of the small percentages of dogs that develop allergic reactions from vaccinations. And now it seems she is among the even smaller percentage of dogs that are allergic to dog food.
Greyson keeps kidding me that only my dog would have all these allergies because I also have a long list of allergies. It’s almost like she is my child who has inherited these things from me. Let’s just hope she doesn’t get all my other bad qualities. Ha ha!
Our Weekend with John
Last weekend, my mom and John came up to visit. John is my great-nephew. (No, that wasn’t a typo. He is my half-brother’s son’s son.) We started the weekend with spaghetti for dinner and then a visit to not one Target but two. John was on a mission for the perfect toy and I was on a mission for a dress. Both missions were accomplished. John picked out two Nerf guns for him and Greyson to play with. Then the night ended with reading books and then off to bed. On Saturday, we had a lazy morning with a great breakfast. John is not a great eater so whenever I am with him I try and get as much food in his belly as possible. He ate a plate full of whole wheat pancakes. Then we headed to the Avenue for some more shopping but this time it was just for John’s school uniforms. We finally found some pants that fit his small waist and were long enough for his long legs. Thank you Old Navy for making a size 5 toddler. Then we headed to Old Fort Park where John ran around nonstop for over 2 hours. He wanted to go to Chuck E Cheese but we promised him the park would be a lot more fun. And thankfully, we were right. He met up with 5 little boys and they played so hard. From there we went to “Longhorns” aka Longhorn for dinner. And this little boy must have really worked up an appetite because he ate a grilled cheese, fries and several ounces of steak. He even said the steak was better than Papa Billy’s. So it must have been really good! We came home and played some more until Greyson got home from work and we took him to Sonic for ice cream and stayed up until 11 playing with him. He was so exhausted from Saturday that he slept all during church and then cried when Greyson took him to ride go carts because he was so tired. It was a great weekend full of great memories.
Our New Church Home
Today we made First Baptist Church Murfreesboro our official church home. We’ve attended both their traditional and contemporary services several times over the past couple of months and we really felt at home. We have talked about joining but it wasn’t something we were planning to do today but God spoke to our hearts and we knew we wanted to be obedient to His calling. I am sure the people sitting in front of us thought we were being rude as we talked during the time of dedication but we were talking about being obedient and how there was no reason to wait. We met some really nice young couples today and I am excited about getting involved in their small group. I really feel like we found our home. Greyson and I were both very blessed to grow up in two amazing churches and we thought it would be hard to find anything to compare but I think we have found an amazing church home for us. The first time we attended I could imagine us bringing up our children there. We are both very excited and glad we made the decision to join today.
The DREADED 25…
I know some of my wiser (hum… older) readers are thinking “really 25” but trust me this is a birthday my friends and I have been dreading. And lucky me, I am the oldest (besides one friend) in our group by a few months. Literally for the past two years, we have talked about it and fretted about it. Why 25? I don’t know. I guess because we are afraid people will start expecting more from us. Like it is the official "you're an adult birthday". And it is goodbye to our early 20s and what we can’t help but believe were some of the greatest times of our lives. Come on when else do you get to live with your best friends, have a diet that consists of frozen meals (or a box as we called it) and fast food, stress was only associated with school, and every weekend was a three day weekend. We had it MADE! So it is hard not to see 25 as an end to era, even though this era already ended on May 3, 2008 for me (my college graduation). I know that I’ve already done some great grown up things like get married and get involved in my community and that not everything after 25 will be bad. I just know it will be a different kind of good and fun. It may be an even better kind of good and fun. I know I will look at this post in a few years and laugh my butt off but I had to put it in writing. I know there is nothing I can do but embrace it, so here’s to 25. May you surprise me!!!
Choosing to SEE
Last week I picked up a guilty pleasure of mine, PEOPLE Magazine. I try only to purchase it when I am on vacation but it was a special edition with Elin Woods on the cover. I had to hear her side of the story. I’ve definitely heard everyone on the Golf Channel’s side of the story thanks to G. While reading the book reviews for new releases I read about Mary Beth Chapman’s new book. She is the wife of Contemporary Christian Music Artist, Steven Curtis Chapman. In the review it told briefly about her son accidently running over their adopted daughter in their own driveway at their home. I remembered hearing about this story a few years ago so the next day I went on Amazon and there I was able to read the first 20 pages. In the dedication, she dedicates the book to her son Will Franklin and says, “You were entrusted with an incredible pain! I’m so sorry. I wish as your mom I could take it away, but I know God has a plan for you to steward this story well and minister to others through your suffering. You are my hero, as well as Maria’s… she loved you so much as do I!”
I immediately picked up the phone and called my mom and told her there was something I wanted her to get me for my birthday. I knew if a book would have a powerful dedication such as that, then I had to read it. So when I arrived in Florence for Labor Day weekend she had it waiting for me. I couldn’t put it down.
To say I am in love with this book feels like an understatement. It’s about Mary Beth’s journey through life with her own struggles. Many of her struggles reflected those of my own. Reading this book for me was like sitting down and talking to a best friend. Her issues started with self esteem issues as a child, not understanding God’s grace as a teenager, then following in love with a man whose career path didn’t follow along with her plan, her struggle with depression, the journey of adoption that again didn’t follow her plan and then the ultimate struggle of her life, losing her five year old little girl in an accident. (Side note: it was 100% an accident with Will Franklin not at fault. The little girl was excited to see her big brother pull in the driveway because she knew he would lift her up to touch the monkey bars that she was trying to reach in the yard. She darted in front of his large SUV and he never saw her, while her older sister was screaming for her to stop running towards him.) Then she takes you on a journey of her grief and her countless questions for God. Then ultimately she realizes that we have a choice to SEE God in EVERY situation because God is there in every situation. (Don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe God EVER is the cause of harm but I do believe He allows things to happen to fulfill His plan.) And even when we don’t understand, we must see and remember Romans 8: 28. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” We are not called to our own purpose or subject to our own plan. We are called for God’s purpose and His plan. That is probably one of the number one struggles as a Christian here on earth. We often think it is about ourselves when it is not. Our number one purpose is to glorify God.
I was deeply impressed by Mary Beth’s honesty with her struggles especially after losing her daughter. Some of the things she says in this book a lot of people probably think she shouldn't have said and that maybe she was too honest. But she was handed an uneasy task, and it is natural to question your beliefs when tragedy strikes. What matters is what you do after you ask the questions. Ultimately she has turned this tragedy into good but she was honest about her journey through the “shadow of death”.
Also, as a whole the Chapman family demonstrates how to turn something so bad to good and use it to glorify God and advance His kingdom. The Chapman’s have started two amazing ministries. The first is, Show Hope. Show Hope is a non-profit organization that mobilizes individuals and communities to care for orphans and provide waiting children with families by giving grants to those adopting. (Learn more at: http://www.showhope.org/AboutUs/WhoWeAre.aspx ) The second is Maria’s Big House of Hope. Maria's Big House of Hope is located in Luoyang, China and is dedicated to saving the lives of special needs orphans in China by providing surgeries and medical attention. This home will offer the highest level of care, enabling the children to thrive, and greatly increasing their chances of being adopted. (learn more at http://www.showhope.org/OrphanCare/MariasBigHouseofHope.aspx )
You are probably thinking there is no need to read the book because I just told you everything but I can promise you there are many great lessons to be learned from her story. I am planning on rereading it because there are so many powerful messages that I don’t want to miss one.
Love is in the Air
On September 1, two of our great friends, Trina and Marshall tied the knot on Key West. Unfortunately, Greyson and I were not able to attend their “cruise wedding” because of conflicts with work but Trina made me feel a part of the day by having people send me pictures all day. She even had someone send a picture to me right before she walked down the aisle. So I even got to see her before her groom did. It really meant the world to me for her to think about me right before the ceremony. While, I am so sad we could not go, I am absolutely thrilled for this couple. I love them both so much. I really don’t know any other two people that love and make the most out of life as these two. I know they have a great life together ahead of them.
On September 2, my best friend and college roommate, Ashley was proposed to on the wedding cruise in the Bahamas. She was completely surprised as were we all. Since they were in the Bahamas she couldn’t use her phone so I received a call bright and early on Saturday morning. If you know me, you know I don’t do bright and early and especially on Saturday mornings. She then sent me a picture message of the ring knowing she would get a call back from me, even if it was an early Saturday morning. I am so happy for Ashley and David. This is such an exciting time for them both. And this means two of my best friends are engaged so I have lots of fun planning ahead of me with throwing parties, showers and teas. And let’s not forget as much wedding planning as they will let me do. I am so excited!
And I guess this also means that we are growing up… which is a little bittersweet for me because I have made some lifetime memories with these girls and I like for things to stay the way they are. But I have to remind myself that there are a lot more memories to be made. I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends.
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