Preparation for Marriage
So much time and energy goes into planning a wedding but I’ve lately wondered how much time people actually prepare for marriage? I know if were able to compare the hours Greyson and I planned our wedding verses what we planned for marriage, we would be horrified at the difference. How ironic is that? Our wedding will last one day and our marriage is a covenant with God that is to last a lifetime. Hummm….. which one sounds like a bigger deal to you? I know which one means more to us and that is our covenant with God.
I will say however I am so thankful that we have both come to this realization and not just me. We’ve both done a lot of preparation both individually and collectively. For any of you in a serious relationship or who want to be in a serious relationship one day, I would encourage you to read “The Love Dare.” My mother gave it us for Christmas and honestly I had no intent on ever reading it. We had both already watched the movie and yes it did have a great message but it was cheesy and reminded me of movies that my Bible teacher made me watch in Middle School. I also thought it was a book about troubled relationships. I wondered what type of message my mom was trying to get across to us. Yes, G and I have had our share of valleys and mountaintops but who hasn’t. Although I had no intention on reading it, I put in on my night stand. About a month later I picked up and I was amazed this wasn’t a book about troubled relationships; this was a book about how to love and glorify God in your marriage. I was hooked from the introduction. The truths were simple but they were revolutionary to me. My entire life I have expected perfection out of everyone and it was no different with Greyson. But this one line of the book changed my perspective. In describing marriage the author writes, “This powerful union provides the path for you to learn how to love another imperfect person unconditionally.” As I said before the truths were simple but this was revolutionary to me. For so many years I had demanded perfection from Greyson, yet I didn’t demand it from myself. I don’t know where this came from. I guess in some weird way I thought your perfect mate was a perfect person. Yet, I am not perfect and if you know me well enough you know there are areas in life where I don’t try to be perfect. So how can I expect perfection from my mate?
I also loved how the book took the attributes from 1 Corinthians 13 and broke down them down. I learned how God wants us to love our spouse. This book has been a huge tool in helping me prepare for marriage.
Greyson and I prepared for marriage together through four sessions of premarital counseling with Greyson’s pastor. I had heard many horror stories from friends about their premarital counseling sessions but ours was wonderful. We learned so much and were provided tools to lay a strong foundation for our marriage.
Although I think we could have done more to prepare for marriage, I am so proud of us both for taking it so seriously and taking time to prepare. We’ve already made a very important decision to keep Christ at the center of our marriage.